Therapists are awfulsome. And yes, I know I just invented that word, deal with it while I explain the awfulsomeness of therapists (spell check is really going to hate me today).
In my therapy session yesterday, I was talking about how I reacted to a certain situation with someone from my past. My therapist stopped me and said, “do you know why you reacted that way?”
“No, do you?” I shot back.
“Well I don’t want to give you any ideas,” she answered. What the hell? Isn’t that why I (and by “I” I mean my insurance) pay you so much money? I mean, if you break your leg and go to the doctor they aren’t going to look at the x-ray and say, “hmm, and do you know why your leg hurts?” Probably because any doctor who does that is getting punched, or at least they would get punched if that broken leg wasn’t slowing you down. But therapists do this shit all the time. And this is why therapists are awful.
Yet in the example above, if you break your leg, you know there is a pretty big fucking problem. You don’t need to figure it out. Comparatively, the insidious thing about mental illness is that it can lie to you, convincing you that you are the problem, not some chemical imbalance in your brain, and that you are just broken, with no hope of getting better. It can be a constantly moving target, like if your broken leg suddenly turned into a broken arm or something.
In reality, mental illness is a battle with demons that happens inside your head, a war waged on a daily basis. There is no x-ray, blood test, or physical test that will reveal it, nor is there a cast to be signed when it is all said and done. Therapists can’t “fix” you in the way you set a broken bone. Rather they give you the weapons to fight your fight, the tools that will give you the ability to win more good days. And when you show up to the therapist after getting the shit kicked out of you by your mental illness, winning more good days is amazing, even if they do it by only asking annoying questions that you don’t know how to answer. And that is why therapists are awesome.
So, yes. Therapists are absolutely fucking awfulsomely awfulsome.
I can see your reasoning and I can see why it could make sense the question that the therapist made you. I really think the whole system must undergo into a big change.
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Thank you for reading and commenting. Maybe someday big change will come and we will find a better system. Maybe some day we will find something to finally chase away the demons we struggle with.
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“Comparatively, the insidious thing about mental illness is that it can lie to you, convincing you that you are the problem, not some chemical imbalance in your brain, and that you are just broken, with no hope of getting better.” This is such a brilliant description of how I feel right now.
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Thank you for sharing! The greatest benefit of speaking up, even on the dark days, is so that we all can see that we are not alone, that there are so many of us out there struggling similarly but in silence. Best wishes!
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Thank you Juan, same to you!
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I have always had some difficulty with some therapists that try to apply one rule fixes all. Each person with a disease, be it mental or physiological or both is unique and requires unique approaches. Sometimes facing one’s monsters is appropriate, sometimes chemistry (medications) is the answer, sometimes guiding statements may help. Sometimes just saying “Hey, I get it, how can I help you overcome your monsters” may be the solution. It is a challenge faced by all.
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Thank you for the comment! Finding the right approach is always a challenge and so thankful that there are truly wonderful professionals out there willing to put in the effort. Take care!
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