Facing My Darkness in The Darkness

Among the tools I use to try to keep my depression and anxiety at bay is floating in a sensory deprivation tank. It involves floating in about 10 inches of water that is saturated with salt to be extremely dense, thus making it easy to float on. The pod can be made to be completely dark and is meant to cut out most noise.

I float for an hour. It is a good way of forcing myself to practice mindfulness, and of confronting the thought patterns that help feed my demons. Some sessions are better than others. Sometimes I find myself calm and relaxed. Other times, like yesterday, I am restless, I feel like this is just another thing I am bad at, and I wonder why I pay money for this. Yet even on days when I’m not as calm or relaxed as I’d like to be, I still find myself emerging somewhat refreshed.

As with all tools for tackling mental health issues, this might not be for everyone. But for me, I find it a helpful escape from a world that generates so much anxiety for me, a way to fight my darkness with the darkness of the sensory deprivation tank. Maybe someday I won’t need this. It would be nice to think that someday I’d be able to control my thought patterns instead of them controlling me. Until then, once a month or so, I find myself facing the darkness while floating inside something that I’ve always thought looked like an escape pod rather than a place of healing.

 

Although, given that it lets me escape from my anxiety filled world, maybe it is an escape pod of sorts.

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