I’m going to be honest, I didn’t really know what I wanted to write for today’s post. I mean, I have several ideas for future posts, but not nearly enough energy to write them. I actually didn’t know what I could write, given the energy levels I currently have. But, nevertheless I am going to try.
You see, the real problem is I am exhausted. Exhausted by my anxiety, a condition that fills me with nervous energy when I should be going to bed. And instead I find myself driven to play games, or watch TV, or read, or anything else in a desperate attempt to drain by brain of that nervous energy. When I finally do try going to bed I toss and turn, anxious thoughts about the day to come flooding through my head. And while the medication I take helps with the anxiety some, it also seems to mess with my sleep schedule enough that I still struggle through the next day and the inevitable exhaustion that comes.
You see sometimes, by brain on anxiety is like a toddler, too tired for its own good, but not responsible enough to let me sleep when me and my brain need it. Don’t get me wrong, my brain does many wonderful things. Handling and balancing the chemicals within it is not one of them. And the result of this chemical imbalance is the exhaustion that has me free-styling for today’s post.
And so, not knowing what to write, I find myself writing about exhaustion’s dark tales. I could have skipped today’s post, but it is important for my own recovery to confront my mental illness, and this is one of the ways I do that. It is also important to write this because while I may feel like the only one struggling today, I know others out there face similar struggles. And as I have said so many times, it is important to remember that you aren’t alone in the battles you’re forced to fight with your demons.
I may have been to tired to follow up on any of the other ideas I had for today’s post. I may be too tired to properly edit this post, so I’l apologize now for any typos or errors in it. I may be too tired to have planned out this post at all in fact, leaving me with a rambling post that I’m not entirely sure how to end, but I am still fighting. And so should you.