Like This. Or Don’t. Maybe. I Don’t Know: Struggling with Social Media and Mental Illness

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Photo by Pixabay.com.

How I Assume Most People Use the ’Like’ Button: “Hmm. Cool photo.” Presses like button. Moves on with life. 

Me Using the Same Fucking ‘Like’ Button: “The photo is interesting. I should like it. Hmm, but what if they aren’t happy with the photo, then it is like I am mocking them. And maybe seeing my name in their notifications will remind them that I was a day late wishing them happy birthday, even though I couldn’t have done so because I didn’t log on to social media that day. Okay, no, maybe I shouldn’t like it. But, what if I don’t like it and they think it is because I don’t care. Fuck. I don’t know. They’ll hate me if I do like it, and hate me if I don’t like it. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Okay, other people are liking it, I really should like it now. But then, what if they think that I think that I should like it because other people did, which admittedly was a thought I did have, but it isn’t why I’m liking it, I think it is an interesting photo. Fuck, now people are using the ‘Wow’ emoji. What the fuck does that mean? Why can’t people use words? Fuck, now even if I like it they’ll probably hate me for not using the right emoji. But then again they didn’t like the last photo I posted. Maybe they didn’t see it. Although, they probably did see it and just didn’t like it because why would they? And why should I like theirs? No, that isn’t right, I shouldn’t stoop to their level. Besides they probably didn’t see it. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. You can do this. Just like the photo and be done with it. Plenty of other people have liked it. Just like it. There is no way they could think you are mocking them now. Just fucking do it.” Presses like button. Doesn’t move on with life, but obsesses about whether that was the right choice. 

And this is a slightly hyperbolized account of one of the reasons social media is so exhausting for me. I really should cut back. 

 

Right after I like this post.

 

Maybe….

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