I am going to continue the rain theme I started yesterday. Yesterday, I talked about how you can’t change the rain, can’t wish it away, and that you can’t wish away mental illness either. Today I am going to look beyond the rain. Because without rain, you’ll never get a rainbow. And similarly, as challenging as it can be to battle mental illness, there are rainbow filled moments to be found in that darkness as well.
Because of my mental illnesses, and because of this blog, I’ve connected with people who I’ve never met, and who I might never meet, who nevertheless show me the strength of the human spirit, even if those individuals don’t always see it themselves. Because of my depression, I’ve learned to value how much joy can come from a simple act of kindness. Because of my anxiety, I’ve learned to treasure the quiet moments alone in the world. Moments I feel close to God.
And what about God? Are rainbows His work, or just a quirk of light hitting raindrops in the sky? Rain might spoil our plans, yet it is essential for growth, and sometimes reveals the beauty in the light. But what about mental illness? I often ask myself if God so loves this world, why do one in four of His children struggle with these terrible afflictions? Why trap us in the darkness of our own minds? Perhaps, and this is just my belief, but perhaps it is just as it is with the rain. Hardship helps us grow, and sometimes the darkness of depression reveals the magic of even a mediocrely lit day.
I often struggle with how to handle my faith on this site. I know that not everyone believes what I believe, and I respect that. The struggle comes from feeling like I am not being honest, since my faith, like my mental illnesses, are an important part of who I am and what my experience has been. And for me, I felt like I could not fully and honestly answer the question, “why do the rains of mental illness come,” without talking about God and my faith.
Yet even if you don’t believe in God, I think that if you look closely you will see a rainbow hidden amidst the darkness of mental illness every once in a while. And that rainbow is worth living for.
If nothing else, I hope this post reminds you to look up and appreciate a rainbow the next time you see one. And as always, thanks for reading.