Last night, I had a dream. I was in a field, and it was cold, and it was dark. Looking up, I saw purplish blue outlines, cracks in the darkness. Cracks where the light was shining through.
As the dream progressed, the cracks in the darkness became bigger, and it soon became obvious that the sun was rising and the “cracks” I was seeing were simply the outlines of clouds reflecting the sun’s early morning light.
Some truly great works have come from dreams, but I rarely draw much inspiration from mine. I write about this one because it is inspiring. You just have to look at it in the right light.
To me, it is obvious that the darkness is my depression, and the cracks are the first signs of light coming, light that will chase away the darkness. The darkness is the brokenness I feel and the light is the healing I work so hard to achieve. I may have a darkness inside me, but the light is a reminder that that isn’t me, at least not all of me. I have light too. The dream was my life, in light and in darkness.
I have had truly terrible moments with my depression, moments I didn’t care to exist. But I have survived each and every one of them. And eventually the light returns. The light returns and brings me to moments I will treasure for all my days, talismans I can carry with me when the darkness returns. Because the darkness will return, just as night always comes. But I have survived every darkness thus far and I will survive the ones that will come in the future too.
And if you are reading this that means you’ve survived every darkness too and you will survive the darknesses yet to come. You just need to look for the cracks, because that is where the light shines through.
P.S. There is actually a song by Switchfoot that expresses this idea far better than I can. It is called “Where the Light Shines Through” and I’m adding the Mental Health Music page, which is where you can find all the songs that help me through the darkness.