Sundays are supposed to be days to rest. Days to recover. Yet if you are in the midst of battling a depressive or anxious episode, Sundays, or any day for that matter, can be anything but restful.
Anxiety often makes sleep a struggle for me. Finding it in the midst of the lies and the worries that anxiety rains down upon me is extremely difficult. It is a little better now that I have a weighted blanket, which helps keep me from tossing and turning, but in the midst of an extreme anxious episode, my mind will still be racing.
Depression waits until I am asleep to act. When I am in the midst of a depressive episode, it seems I cannot sleep more than four hours at a time, which I assure you isn’t fun.
And all of this can leave me tired and groggy when I want to be rested. This tiredness, of course, is on top of the general fog that comes with depression. And the darkness eats at me, making the following day anything but restful. Even if it is Sunday.
There are things that can help. Being patient and reminding myself that depression and anxiety lie. Distracting myself. Keeping myself busy, if possible. Yet none of these things give me back that restful feeling I so often want on Sundays.
To get that back, I’ll just have to wait for the episodes to pass.