Do you know the anxiety that comes from having a test that you didn’t study for? Or, have you ever had a nightmare that you slept through a test? Well, combine those anxieties and add a little more anxiety for good measure and you get my feelings about the at-home sleep study I had to do last night
All day, the little machine that I had picked up to wear when I slept was causing me anxiety. Of course, there was no logical reason for the anxiety, but that is the joy of generalized anxiety disorder, there rarely is any reason in it. I knew that there was no way I could fail the exam. The results would simply give my doctor more information about my sleep habits, which would allow the doctor to better help me. There was no right or wrong result, but still, I was anxious.
In fact, all night while wearing the machine, which consists of a nasal cannula, a pulse oximeter, and an effort sensor, I dreamed I was trapped by the machine, unable to figure out how to turn it off. This, of course, was even more ridiculous since the machine literally only has one button, so turning it off isn’t difficult. Nevertheless, I was worried I would screw something up and everyone would be mad at me.
Of course, none of this happened. The night went fine, once I got passed the feeling of having these sensors tapped to my face and my finger. Again, the fears of generalized anxiety disorder generally never come to pass, which makes sense since they are so illogical, to begin with. And this is what I have to remind myself next time I find runaway worry.
That and hoping that I don’t lose any sleep because of my anxiety over the pending results ….