When Everything is Too Slow or Too Fast

Time likely seems strange to everyone these days, courtesy of the Coronavirus. However, time playing tricks on me, or more accurately mental illness playing tricks with time, is nothing new to me.

So often, it will seem like I have all the time in the world, so my mental illness lies to me and tells me there is no rush. I should take time for myself. Yet then all of a sudden the days slip past and looking back it seems like times were going too fast and all of a sudden I am behind again.

Or else mental illness tricks me into thinking that my recovery, my healing, is going so slow that it isn’t really working. Or else, it convinces me that it isn’t working fast enough and I should try something else. The trick, of course, being that then I don’t stick with any approach long enough for it to actually work.

Yet I am getting better at slowing down the moments that are too fast and recognizing the moments that seem too slow as being just more lies told by my mental illness. I am getting better thanks to the people in my life who are challenging the lies of mental illness with me. I am getting better because of my practice with mindfulness. And hopefully, if time playing tricks is something you struggle with too, mindfulness will offer you just as much assistance.

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