It is okay to not be okay. I say that to others plenty. I wear it on t-shirts and a cause bracelet. Yet I need to occasionally be more forceful in reminding myself (and others) that when you are struggling with a mental illness, it is okay to not be okay.
I say this as my daily mood chart has become more erratic, the visual representation of me fighting through a few depressive episodes that might not have been full-blown, life interrupting periods, but that sucked nevertheless.
Yet rather than let myself accept that fact, I tried to ignore, tried to pretend it wasn’t happening because I didn’t want it to be happening. I wanted to be focused on my newborn baby and on the things that are going well in my life. Yet even when things are going well, depression can sucker-punch you out of nowhere.
In fact, because of impostor syndrome, the good times can be particularly tricky, as your mental illness tries to rob you of the accomplishments you’ve had and the good things in your life.
And through it all, I just have to remind myself (and others) that it is okay to not be okay. Because allowing yourself to feel your feelings, allowing yourself to be mindful of your mental illnesses, these are crucial steps towards recovering from the depressive episodes and anxious periods so you can start living and enjoying your life again. Because it is okay to not be okay because that doesn’t last forever.