Apparently I’m Even Anxious in My Sleep

There are many frustrating things about living with any illness, mental or physical. And by frustrating, I mean that it can absolutely suck sometimes. The silver lining, the break that we are supposed to get, is rest. Sleep is supposed to allow you some escape. However, for many with anxiety, myself included, that isn’t always the case.

Of course the most obvious way anxiety screws with my sleep is by not letting me have it. As tired as my body might be, my racing mind sometimes makes sleep elusive. Constantly in front of me, but never obtainable like some sadistic carrot anxiety waves in front of my face. Over the years, I have learned some tricks for getting that carrot that is sleep. A warm shower can sometimes help. Journaling. My weighted blanket. Melotonin (side note, spell check thought I meant serotonin, and yes, I will take some of that too if you’re offering).

However, last night my wife woke me up to ask if I was awake.

“I am now,” I replied. “Why?”

Because apparently I’d be tossing and turning so much I’d been keeping her awake for the last twenty minutes. Now, I don’t know for certain that this is because my anxiety, but if I were a betting man that is where my money would be. Apparently if I can’t bounce my knee or pace about to work off anxious energy, my body just flops about in bed like a fish out of water. So even when I finally get the sleep I so desire, apparently I am still anxious. Awesome.

Have a good weekend everyone, Hopefully, for me it will finally be filled with some anxiety free sleep.

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