Like I said yesterday, there can be some humorous aspects of mental illness, or maybe it is just in how you look at it. I talked yesterday about the shark and the cat, but while organizing my basement I realized I have a lot of books. And more that I want to buy. Is this a medical condition that is related to my mental illness? Because if so I might need a doctor’s note so my wife doesn’t get annoyed with my growing library.
In truth, I think it is something to do with my mental illness. For starters, my anxiety makes me fear that I won’t have a book I need. Need for what? I have no idea since most of them aren’t reference books. Need for reading again maybe. Because I do enjoy re-reading books I’ve read in the past. Picking out details I missed the first time is calming for me. It helps reduce my anxiety some, like spending time with a familiar friend.
And my favorite books are tales full of darkness. Tales that are shadowy and twisty and distract me from my own darkness. My absolute favorite book is called The Book of Skulls, which is about a secret cult in the Arizona dessert that takes candidates in in groups of four and grants immortality to two of them. However, the other two must die, one by suicide and one by murder.
Yet I have other favorites, and new ones that join the shelf regularly. I especially love the book club I am a part of because they find books that are dark and twisty, just like I like. My favorite is from that is actually a non-fiction book about books bound in human skin. It. Was. Fascinating.
And while some might call this hoarding, I choose not to hear those people. Not because I’m being childish, but because I know what I like and part of self-care is recognizing those things that you like and leaning on them. Part of self-care is also not overloading the shelves and annoying your wife. As with all things you must find a balance.
Yet I’m curious about all of you. Do you love to escape into a book? And if so are they dark and twisty tales that remind you you aren’t alone in your own dark tale, or do you prefer something else. There are of course no wrong answers, just my own curiosity.
So with that, I will leave you for now. Happy (and responsible) reading everyone!
P.S. When I say “organizing” my basement, I meant looking at what needs to be organized and making mental notes that may or may not every come to fruition.
P.P.S. The book club I referenced is a virtual book club (which the socially-anxious-introvert in me loves) run by the Nowhere Bookshop and master of finding humor in the darkness of mental illness, Jenny Lawson. It is called the Fantastic Strangelings Book Club and I highly recommend it.