My anxiety has been around so long, that sometimes it hides in plain sight. It is less that I forget about the anxiety and more that I don’t notice the maladaptive behaviors it is causing, even when the red flags are all around.
For example, my sleep schedule has been off recently. Yet it wasn’t until I stopped and looked at my nighttime routine that I realized I was staying up too late not because I wanted to unwind from work, but because I am trying to feel less anxious. And it may seem strange to not realize just how anxious I am, but when it is your baseline, sometime it is hard to remember to be mindful of it and what is doing to your body. Because I know sometimes I can get so wrapped up in everything else that is happening that I am not paying attention to myself and to the self-care needs I have.
And all of this is yet another example of how dangerously well mental illness can be at lying to you. It can convince you that the anxiety is normal and that the sleepless nights and the distracted behavior are normal and just part of life. But it doesn’t have to be. It can get better. You can get better. Because even though anxiety can sometimes hide in plain sight, it doesn’t define you. And the more you see it, the more you can push back against it with self-care routines.
Thanks for reading. Have a good weekend everyone.