I have said before that recovery and healing is a hard, messy process. It is not a linear one, but rather one that is full of missteps and backslides. Sometimes that is just the result of a bad day, but other times it is because we can fear the healing.
After all, healing takes work. And on the other side of that work is the unknown, is change. It can be one thing to say you want to be better, but not knowing what better looks like can be scary.
Fearing the healing I think is a normal part of the recovery process. Backsliding because of that fear is a normal part as well. Yet the strength that I believe that we all have, the strength that is born from facing the same dark demons day after day, is the same strength that I believe can push us past that fear, past the backsliding, and into a better place.