Balancing on the Narrow Edge of Recovery

Yesterday, I talked about letting life happen and not trying to control everything. Of course, as I mentioned, this doesn’t mean you should be a push over and let life happen to you. It is all about finding the right balance. One of many delicate balancing acts that keeps me on the narrow edge of recovery.

And I call it a narrow edge because at any point there can be a bad day and a back slide. Recovery from mental illness is a constant endeavor. It requires balancing self-care with the stressors that threaten to drag us back to our demons. If, like me, you struggle with social anxiety, it requires balancing social support with time to your self. And as I mentioned above, it involves balancing acceptance of life’s curve balls with mindfulness in how we react.

And let me tell you, all these balancing acts get fucking exhausting.

And if you have family or work obligations to balance on top of it, it can get even more exhausting, sending you teetering one way or the other. And inevitably there will be times you topple over and fall on your ass. Believe me, it has happened to me plenty. And it will probably happen again.

But I want to share with you what I’ve learned from failing and falling, from having bad days where the demons drag me over the edge of my recovery. And that is that it is okay. Slip-ups happen. Backsliding happens. Bad days fucking happen, more often than we would probably like in fact.

Yet when we fall, it doesn’t have to be the end of the story. We can get back up again. Slipping up in our recovery doesn’t undo all the work we’ve done. That progress is still there, saving our spot on that narrow edge, so that we can dust ourselves off and continue our recovery.

And the nice thing is that that reality, the reality that we can pick ourselves up and try again, that our story isn’t over, isn’t as precarious as the rest of these balancing acts. On the contrary, it is rock solid.

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