Well Fuck, This is Exhausting

Having mental illness is exhausting. Yes, depression is exhausting in that it drains you of energy or willpower, even for things you truly enjoy. Yes, it is exhausting because all the things you know are lies, that you know are ridiculous, but still stress you to the point of needing to retreat to a safe […]

Working Hard at Laziness

Last month I was swamped at work, working harder than I ever had in my current role. Yet, as is so often the case with my mental illness, it still didn’t feel like enough. I still felt lazy. In anything I do, work around the house, my career, my studies, I never feel it is […]

Smiles and Suicide

I said that my last post was one I really struggled with. I think this one might be even harder for me. Apparently, this is the week for me to rip open old scars and talk about the tough shit. I promise my next post will be something more fun, like me almost getting stabbed […]

Falling Through The Darkness. Literally.

Okay, so last post I made a comment about the path ending and bad things happening and I said I’d explain next time. Well, this is that story. It was spring of 2008, and I was in the San Juan Islands studying orca whales. Some of my fellow student researchers and I decided to go […]