Hide and Seek with My Demons

In the past year, I’ve been working very hard on mindfulness, on my therapy, and on untangling the roots of my mental health struggles. And as I get closer to shining a light on my demons, they seem elusive, and I find myself trapped in a game of hide and seek with my demons. And […]

Damn These Decisions

Decisions are hard for me. I mean, I usually know what I want to do, but then my anxiety monster gets its talons into me and I start to worry whether it is the ‘right’ and how will people react to this decision. And this is hard because just think about how many decisions you […]

The Dark Tales of Schizophrenia

I focus this blog mostly on my experience, which means mostly focusing on depression and anxiety. Yet since this is International Schizophrenia Awareness Day, it seems right to talk about schizophrenia. Schizophrenia, like so many illnesses, struggles with funding issues. And like so many mental illnesses, schizophrenia struggles with overcoming stigma. People often seem to […]

Exorcising the Demons of the Past

People generally gain confidence from their past successes. Yet for me, it is my failures that stick with me, feeding the self-doubt and self-esteem issues that pour out of my depression. I relieve those failures over and over again, and my anxiety causes me to be stressed out, worried that I’ll make the same mistakes […]

I’m Winning…And Possibly Losing My Hearing

Last night, my wife and I went to a little music bar in Chicago to hear a friend of ours who was opening up the live music that night. She was amazing, as she always is. The bar was a charming little place with red walls, black trimming, mini-metal gargoyles guarding the sound board, and […]

The Twisted Tree of My Darkness

In my therapy session yesterday, we were talking about how well I know myself. Knowing myself, it turns out, is very helpful in rejecting the lies of depression. And it is something I struggle with. To help, my therapist came up with a visual. A tree. Who you are at your core, she explained, that […]