Apparently Word Choice Matters

I’ve been criticized in the past for using my anxiety and depression as a crutch, as a get out of jail free card if you will. At first, I was annoyed. After all it wasn’t my choice to have mental illnesses. And there are things that are challenging for me because of them, even with […]

The Devil I Know

I posted yesterday about how my therapist wanted me to know myself better and planned to help me make a “map of the tree of my mental illness.” First of all, anything that helps me be rid of the demons of mental illness, or at least lessen their grip, is a welcome thing. Yet at […]

The Twisted Tree of My Darkness

In my therapy session yesterday, we were talking about how well I know myself. Knowing myself, it turns out, is very helpful in rejecting the lies of depression. And it is something I struggle with. To help, my therapist came up with a visual. A tree. Who you are at your core, she explained, that […]

Hmm, So That Wasn’t Supposed to Happen

Today I had a follow up regarding my medication. Mental health meds typically take time to start working, and often need adjustments to the dose. In my case, since I was still experiencing symptoms of anxiety, my dose was bumped up. However, while discussing side effects I mentioned I was feeling more tired, which surprised […]

The Fog

Some of you might have noticed a slow down in my posting the last week or so. Part of this was a real struggle with writer’s block, but as I’ve posted before, I try to write through writer’s block if possible, even if whatever comes out isn’t any good. At least it will get the […]

How Dare You Compliment Me Like That

I can be overly defensive at times. Usually, it is because I am already doubting myself and down on myself and I assume that any criticism will just feed that lowness. And worse, I feel that if I let the criticism stand, whoever it is will see me as I see myself, inept and unworthy […]

How Much Power Will You Let Your Demons Have

In a recent therapy session, my therapist suggested I give my mental illnesses too much power over me. For example, thinking I can’t do something or can’t try something because my anxiety is too high, or that my depression is an excuse for not trying to be better next time. Mental illness creates some limitations […]