A Moment for Mindfulness

My therapist has been pushing me to practice mindfulness. It is a little odd to me that part of the treatment for being anxious about everything is to literally sit still and do nothing, but since my anxiety is usually based on nothing more than my the deceit of my broken brain, maybe sitting and […]

Keep Calm, or You’ll Miss the Turtles

Last summer I went scuba diving in Cozumel, Mexico. It was extraordinary. I’d never seen a place where you could be 80 feet down and still feel like the surface was right there. However, I unfortunately didn’t get as much opportunity to enjoy the first of the two dives because of my anxiety. You see, […]

Homeless, or Maybe Just My Mind Is

  Working in downtown Chicago, I pass homeless people everyday on the streets. Of course I feel pity for them. If I have spare change I typically give it to them, although I rarely have spare change. But I also feel something else. Fear. I fear one day ending up like them. I know that […]

Thought Battles

This week my therapist was explaining that it is impossible to properly focus on two thoughts at the same time. At least, I think that is what she said, I was busy thinking about something else at that particular moment. The point, and I do have a point, is that this reality is bad news […]

Oh The Places I’ve Been

Yesterday I got a message about my 10 year college reunion. There are many reasons for me to say no. Many of these people I avoided when I was actually in college because that would have required me to be social (no thank, courtesy of my anxiety), and so it is hard for me to […]

A non-love letter to my mental illnesses

Dear Mental Illnesses, I want to say fuck you. I want to say that because of the dark and twisted ways you mess with my life, because of the lies you whisper lovingly in my ear, and because, especially on days like today, you make me feel alone and isolated, unworthy of the good things […]