Shining a Light On Our Darkness

I write this blog for a number of reasons. One reason is to connect with others who struggle with mental illness, letting them know they aren’t alone. Another reason is to push back on the stigma surrounding mental illness. But I think on some level, I write in the desperate hope that one day I […]

Exorcising the Demons of the Past

People generally gain confidence from their past successes. Yet for me, it is my failures that stick with me, feeding the self-doubt and self-esteem issues that pour out of my depression. I relieve those failures over and over again, and my anxiety causes me to be stressed out, worried that I’ll make the same mistakes […]

Bloody Rain. A Series of Unfortunate Events on My Way to Work

Yesterday, Chicago started its Monday morning with a steady rain. No worries, I thought, I have an umbrella. Unfortunately, that umbrella was broken by the wind within half a block of my walk from the train station to work. It was bent and snapped where the handle attaches to the umbrella itself. For half a […]

The Tree and The Traffic Light

I’ve previously mentioned the tree analogy that my therapist offered me, the trunk being my core personality and the branches are various aspects of my life (career, family, etc). Yesterday she switched analogies and went with traffic lights. Red, she explained was all the negative self-talk my anxiety and depression feed me. Because there is […]

The Devil I Know

I posted yesterday about how my therapist wanted me to know myself better and planned to help me make a “map of the tree of my mental illness.” First of all, anything that helps me be rid of the demons of mental illness, or at least lessen their grip, is a welcome thing. Yet at […]

The Twisted Tree of My Darkness

In my therapy session yesterday, we were talking about how well I know myself. Knowing myself, it turns out, is very helpful in rejecting the lies of depression. And it is something I struggle with. To help, my therapist came up with a visual. A tree. Who you are at your core, she explained, that […]