The Impostor in the Darkness

Today is one of those days where I feel like I have no right to talk about my battle. It’s one of those days where I’m sure my writing is terrible and that I’m just exaggerating my struggles. It is one of those days where my mental illnesses try to convince me that I don’t […]

Holding The Floodgates Open

Mental illnesses are full of negative feedback loops, which are designed to drag you down and allow the demons of your mental illness to torment you further. For me it is often anxiety that feeds on itself, building anxiety on top of anxiety until I find myself an anxious wreck. Yet the worst is when […]

Marathons and Mental Illness. 

I wrote yesterday about cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and how it is about using objective facts and positive reinforcement to redirect negative thoughts. Yet it isn’t a process that happens overnight. Battling mental illness is a marathon, not a sprint.  And no one expects a runner to get up and run 26 miles without training, […]

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

I talk a lot about my subjective experiences with my mental illnesses, but I don’t talk enough about the therapy and treatment I am getting and how that is helping me battle my demons. My therapist focuses on using cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, to treat the negative and harmful thought patterns I have that […]

I’m Not Being Defensive, It’s Just My Mental Illnesses

Mental illnesses can be incredibly isolating, and can make you feel like you are the only one fucking shit up. At least that is the case for me. Even though I know that making mistakes is human, I feel like every mistake I make is glaring and obvious, and that the whole world is judging […]

Anxiety’s Restless Acts

It can be hard for me to stay still. If you are talking to me, it is more likely than not that I am bouncing my foot or tapping my fingers or something similar. When I am thinking through a problem, I’ll often take to pacing around the room, although I’ve learned not to do this […]

Weekend Wellness: An Update on Self Care

Today I woke up with just a hint of depression. Not the all encompassing major depressive episodes that leave me stuck in bed because the energy of moving is just too much and it is impossible to feel hopeful about anything, but rather just a twing of depression, a I’d-get-out-of-bed-if-I-could-see-a-point-to-doing-so-but-right-now-I-just-don’t-see-it type of depression. I’ve been […]