The Future and the Fear

I have struggled with mental illnesses since I was in middle school. Anxiety was the main bully of my mind, but occasionally it brought its buddy depression. I didn’t fit in, and my separation made me an easy target for kids to ridicule because kids will be kids and kids can be absolutely awful. And […]

Putting the Puzzle Together

Several years ago, my therapist asked me if I knew who I was. I couldn’t answer. It is a strange and deeply unsettling feeling, not being able to answer a question like that. Perhaps the hole left by that unanswered question has left the perfect hiding place for the darkness of my depression and anxiety […]

Shining a Light On Our Darkness

I write this blog for a number of reasons. One reason is to connect with others who struggle with mental illness, letting them know they aren’t alone. Another reason is to push back on the stigma surrounding mental illness. But I think on some level, I write in the desperate hope that one day I […]

Exorcising the Demons of the Past

People generally gain confidence from their past successes. Yet for me, it is my failures that stick with me, feeding the self-doubt and self-esteem issues that pour out of my depression. I relieve those failures over and over again, and my anxiety causes me to be stressed out, worried that I’ll make the same mistakes […]

Bloody Rain. A Series of Unfortunate Events on My Way to Work

Yesterday, Chicago started its Monday morning with a steady rain. No worries, I thought, I have an umbrella. Unfortunately, that umbrella was broken by the wind within half a block of my walk from the train station to work. It was bent and snapped where the handle attaches to the umbrella itself. For half a […]